


Of Pride and Possessiveness

by ActualMercy



Series: XiaoDan Kanemaru [3]
Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: Sword & Shield | Pokemon Sword & Shield Versions
Genre: Communication, F/M, Jealousy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:41:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23714566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ActualMercy/pseuds/ActualMercy
Summary: "There wasn’t any rationality to his concern: didn’t he love the way that she smiled? It was so light, so rare, like sunlight while it was raining so he could see the flicker of a rainbow against droplets in the sky.No, you love the way that she laughs foryou."
Relationships: Dande | Leon/Original Character(s), Dande | Leon/Original Female Character(s)
Series: XiaoDan Kanemaru [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1707973
Kudos: 2





	Of Pride and Possessiveness

**Author's Note:**

> Let the self indulgence continue

He absolutely hated this feeling.

This feeling of ire in his chest, weighing it down and making his shoulders stiffen as if to hold off the weight of the world setting itself against him… He absolutely hated it.

And yet, there he was, standing behind the counter of the DayCare, watching a young woman who stood a head taller than him talking to a young man about his Wooloo and sharing tips and tricks on what they did to tend to their respective Pokemon. It was a simple conversation, but there was something in seeing his girlfriend speaking so casually with Turffield’s Gym Leader that made Leon feel the very sensation in his chest that he was trying so hard to avoid. Was it the way her shoulders relaxed around him, when usually she would keep her posture with other customers? Or, was it the way that the usually silent XiaoDan was actually having a conversation beyond greeting her guest and asking how long they wanted to keep their Pokemon with her? Perhaps it was the fact that, even with her back turned to him, Leon could tell that there was a hint of a smile playing at her lips.

Whatever the answer, he knew that he hated that he wasn’t the one to share this particular moment with her.

But then that brought him to the next question, as he watched his dearest crouch down to pet one of Milo’s visiting Wooloo and offer it a berry to snack on: why was he feeling this way? He should know better than to think that she didn’t have  _ something _ special to keep for only him to see, to experience. And yet…

Perhaps she didn’t realize how much it meant to him?

The answer to that question was left unfound as he watched XiaoDan and Milo make their way towards the counter.  _ Oh, so he really is here for something after all. _ The thought crossed the Champion’s mind as he watched XiaoDan bring in her Wooloo, and the one she was feeding just earlier behind the counter.

“Will it be for two days again, Milo?”

She almost never referred to her customers by their name.

“Let’s make it a week- last time I took him back after two days, he wouldn’t stop bleating to come back!” There was something in that casual tone of the farmer’s, followed by a giggle from XiaoDan, that made Leon stiffen just the slightest bit.

_ Don’t- _

He caught himself: don’t what? Don’t be the reason that she’s laughing, right now?

There wasn’t any rationality to his concern: didn’t he love the way that she smiled? It was so light, so rare, like sunlight while it was raining so he could see the flicker of a rainbow against droplets in the sky.

_ No, you love the way that she laughs for  _ **_you_ ** _. _

The thought burned into his mind as he watched the two, standing barely a foot away from his girlfriend and her acquaintance, yet feeling as if he were watching from a distance while his chest burned with that unmistakable feeling he wanted so badly to avoid admitting.

He hated this feeling.

* * *

“Leon.”

The sound of his name made Galar’s champion nearly jump from his spot on the sofa, golden hues finding themselves staring into jade clouded with concern. How long had she been saying his name? He was usually more attentive than this- granted, today played out… Much more differently than he had expected, when he dropped by the DayCare to visit her and stay the night. She was different with Milo, than how she normally was with her other customers. The XiaoDan that he saw was something like when he first met her the night he and Raihan had come to pick up Ze. It was the glimpse of a softer woman hiding behind her stone mask that made Leon want to pursue her, want to get to know her…

Want to make her his.

And as the sun was setting on the DayCare, he saw that very same person- but he hated it: and he hated himself for hating it. But, he hated how she was showing that face to someone else- how he, who had visited her countless times already and learned so much about her, had just barely reached a level where she could laugh so openly in front of him. And yet, there she was, sharing smiles and laughs with a man who knew nothing about her the way that he did.

“Leon!”

There was a firmness to her voice now when her voice registered in his ears again- had he gotten lost in his thoughts for a second time?

“Sorry, sorry-” It wasn’t often he found himself apologizing, but then again it wasn’t often that he found himself getting lost in thoughts that he knew he shouldn’t be having. “Er… What were you saying, love?”

“I was not saying anything.” The response caught him off guard- then why was she saying his name with so much concern? “Are you okay, Leon..?”

_ Was  _ he okay?

The question was met with a chuckle as he shook his head, reaching up to let his palm rest against the top of her head. “I’m fine, love.”

He found a smile to give her as he ruffled her hair- he found that she always loved when he did this, despite the fact she stood a head taller than him. But, the concern remained in her stare even as he did what normally put her at ease. There was an impending doom, to the way she removed his hand from atop her head and held it in hers; her careful touch was different, as if she were trying not to let something break.

“No, you are not.”

It wasn’t an inquiry, this time: it was a statement. He wasn’t okay, and they both knew it: but why did he want to say that it was? Why was he trying to avoid something so blatantly clear-

“Are you angry, Leon?”

For once, he didn’t want her to say his name: he didn’t want those questions directed at him, when it made him have to face the increasingly painful reality of his pride rearing its ugly head to leave words that stained his mind and left an ache in his heart. “Wh- No, no, Xiao, honey, I’m not angry at y-”

“Are you angry at Milo?”

_ Am I angry at Milo- _

He couldn’t laugh, this time- even if he wanted to. The question brought a sickening feeling to his stomach as he contemplated the answer: did he want to lie, or did he want to give her an answer neither of them wanted to hear? There wasn’t a lot of time to think, before his mind seemed to shut down and his heart aimed to speak for itself, for once.

“I hate it.”

The words were cold, distant, and XiaoDan hated how they made warm gold seem to dull and pull away from her. She hadn’t seen this side of Leon before. But, why was it that he was showing this side of him, after what felt like such a normal day? As much as she wanted to respond, something in her gut told the girl to remain silent. Surely, something like this had further explanation to it- or, at least, she hoped so.

“I-” His voice caught in his throat, and Leon knew that if he said anything further, he was going to be digging an early grave. “I hate how he can make you smile so easily.”

Didn’t Sonia tell him when they were kids that venting was supposed to lift the weight off your shoulders? Then why was it that his own felt that much more heavier, with each word he said? Perhaps it was the silence at his side; the fact that he knew XiaoDan was listening, waiting for him to say more. Damnit, why was she such a good listener?

“I hate the way that he makes you relax like how you do around me.” It was too late to take back his words, so he might as well fill the air with his thoughts if he couldn’t clear it. “I hate the way that you can treat him so casually- how long has he known you to get that? I hate that I should be glad you’re smiling more, but I’m not. I don’t  _ want  _ you to smile at anyone other than  _ me _ -”

There it was.

“I hate the thought of being away from you, while you’re here smiling at- At this other guy, and he doesn’t know you half as well as I do, but here you are-”

His heart felt like it was made of lead, and he had to look away as his words stopped themselves. Was this his body’s way of saying that he’d dug a deep enough grave? Deep down, he was hoping that she would hold him close: let his head lay against her chest and listen to the soft beat of her heart as she told him that it would be alright, that she would be more careful moving forward.

“Are you an idiot?”

That wasn’t what he was expecting.

It was enough to grab his attention again, though, and when Leon looked back up to look at XiaoDan, he could see that the concern cleared from those pools of pale green and made way for something that made his stomach start churning once more. Was that anger, he was staring into? Or was disappointment a better word for it? Either way, he hated that she was looking at him like that.

There was a lot of hate in him, it seemed.

“You do not think that I miss you dearly, when you are away?” It was such a silly statement, but it was true- from the mornings that he left, to the evenings that he found time to visit her, XiaoDan always caught herself thinking of him. And, yet, here he was stating his certainty that she wasn’t, and it hurt.

“Milo has been a fantastic friend to me, even before I met you.” Her voice was shaking now- XiaoDan hated crying. But, she couldn’t just sit back and say that it was perfectly fine for the great Champion of Galar to dislike the person who helped bring her DayCare to life and stuck by her side to do so. “I love you, Leon.”

Was it too early to say something like that, when they had just barely started dating? Timing didn’t matter in that moment: she wanted to make things clear, before she saw that clouded look in his eyes once more.

“I love you, and I want to share my happiness with you. But… That does not mean I cannot share happiness with anyone else. Milo is a dear friend, and I have everything to thank him for. If it were not for him helping me bring this DayCare to life, we would never have even met in the first place. Why… Why does your jealousy not let you realize this..?”

This was the most he had ever heard her speak, but he couldn’t enjoy it- he couldn’t enjoy the sound of her voice shaking with every word and fighting back what he knew were tears. He wanted to hold her- cradle her head in his hand and wipe away those tears the same way he did when they first came clear about their feelings to one another. But, this wasn’t the time for that. Now, it was time for him to pull his head out of his ass and realize he was, to put it lightly, a complete douche for letting selfish desires get the best of him. She was right, to call him jealous: he knew it all along, but somehow it rang differently when he heard it coming from her. That confirmation of the ire in his chest made it hurt that much more, like how a wound starts to hurt more when you look at it: you start to grasp the reality of the situation.

Shouldn’t he have known better by now that she wouldn’t fulfill the haunting prophecy that his brain didn’t seem to want to let go? Of course he should have: considering that it was XiaoDan who made the first move to tell him how she felt. He just followed suit- but he’d forgotten that.

Just like how he’d forgotten every morning kiss, every evening embrace, every look she gave that let him see clear pools of jade glitter with nothing but love for him.

_ … I really am an idiot. _

“... I’m sorry, XiaoDan,” his voice had lowered itself to barely a whisper, Leon’s eyes meeting with hers as he gave in to that urge to touch her, to hold her, and let her head rest against his palm so that he could feel the growing heat of her cheek and the stiffness in her jaw. She was trying so hard not to give herself away, but he knew full well she couldn’t do that in front of him. “I just- I don’t...”

_ I don’t have an explanation for myself _ .

His silence was met with hers, and the lightest brush of her fingers against his as she pulled his hand away from where it set itself against her cheek. “Close your eyes, Leon.”

There wasn’t any room for him to question it: without a second to waste, the champion did as told. The sight of her disappeared, and he was left to whatever XiaoDan saw fit for this situation. He felt her presence rise from where she was seated before him. The slightest tug of his hands had him sit facing forward before her hands left his, and he was effectively left alone. Was she going to get something? Was she going to leave him alone? Would she do that?

Questions raced through his mind, but none of them prepared him to feel a weight press against his lap and long fingers comb through his hair, his head remaining still as he felt her lips brush against the crown of his head.

“This is for those troublesome thoughts that meddle you throughout the night.”

Another kiss, this time at his forehead.

“This is so you can never forget how much I miss you, to the moon and back. And this…”

Even with his eyes closed, he could tell that hers were, as well. The touch of her forehead against his put Leon’s shoulders at ease, and his hands lifted from where they rested on either side of him to steal her hands away from where they cradled his head and laced his fingers through hers. Her lips brushed lightly against his for an all too short moment, before he tilted his head upwards and stole that kiss from her- just barely within his reach. Her lips were soft, with the slightest hint of sweetness to them. He always did notice that she smelled faintly of Pecha berries.

That moment felt as if it lasted an eternity, and yet when she pulled away, Leon couldn’t be happier. His eyes opened to meet with warm jade staring back, and he couldn’t stop himself from asking, “What was this one for?”

“So you know that I would never want to share our happiness with anyone else.”

Leon wasn’t stupid, by any means. But, he had to hand it to XiaoDan: she was a girl three years his junior, and she had already moved to a completely new region to start a new life, launch a business that was booming and make a name for herself. It was admirable, and one of the reasons she had caught his interest in the first place. Yet, as if that weren’t enough, here she was giving him reminders, reasons, for why he had fallen in love with her.

“I love you, XiaoDan. ” The words left his lips as easily as a breath of air, his chest feeling lighter than it had in days as they shared another kiss and he could taste the sweetness of her lips, the warmth of her love, against his.

There was a lot to discuss that night; there was a lot to acknowledge, a lot to admit of himself and admit how even when he stood at the top as Galar’s champion, there was a lot of himself to fix. But, to say that he regretted the conversation would be a lie in and of itself.

There was a newfound confidence that made Leon’s heart swell with pride: one that he could share with XiaoDan the next morning as they shared one last kiss before he left through the back of her DayCare to avoid any early visitors. In that simple exchange was a night’s worth of love and reassurance and support- it left the sensation of hope in his heart that lifted his shoulders to stand tall and push the weight of the world away and back to where it belonged.

He absolutely loved this feeling.


End file.
